Maybe I’ll move to Costa Rica!
Though I have to admit that the move to Boston, MA, area was unsettling enough! I really thought I had given myself enough time to unpack and get back into working mode, but clearly I needed more time. I have, however, been accumulating a wealth of webpages, blogposts and videos that I want to review, digest and write about. Some of these, as I process them, will be a couple of months old but hey, better late than never!
One of the funnest websites I know (and remember, I’m a life-long learner) is TED.com. If you don’t already know TED, it’s a non-profit organization that is dedicated to sharing ideas in many different domains. It has spread from a small exclusive conference to a global phenomenon, with smaller TEDx conferences held in many different cities around the world. The videos are all worth watching – I haven’t seen a bad one yet. Be careful - you could lose hours, maybe days, of your online life browsing their website. One video takes you to another – not to mention the speaker bios and discussions.
I am a “fan” of the TED page on Facebook which sends a new video to my NewsFeed daily. I don’t get the time to watch all of the talks, but when this one came through from Nic Marks, talking about a “Happy Planet Index“, I couldn’t resist.
This TED talk makes me want to move to Costa Rica – the world’s happiest country, as well as one that’s doing it sustainably. Truly impressive.
Nic Marks starts out his discourse by talking about what we measure – what’s really in the GDP / GNP. And how fear is used to try to motivate change. The problem, he notes, is that fear is biologically linked to the flight instinct – so by promoting fear (if we don’t change our habits, the world will be destroyed), we are actually inadvertently encouraging people to run away from the problem. He cites Robert Kennedy’s observation that “The Gross National Product measures everything except that which makes life worthwhile.”
For some odd reason, this reminds me of “movies with Marty” during my MAPP (Master of Applied Positive Psychology) courses last year. On some class weekends, Dr. Martin Seligman would bring in one of his favourite positive psychology movies. One weekend, it was Close Encounters of the Third Kind. Marty explained to us that there are two philosophies in alien movies: hostile aliens (e.g. Alien) and friendly aliens (e.g. ET). Close Encounters was one of the first movies in the friendly alien theme. The environmental movement, to this point, seems to have been based on the hostile alien theory – that fear is a motivator. In this TED talk, Nic Marks ponders – what if we went to a carrot / happiness / friendly alien philosophy instead?
Everyone wants happiness as an ultimate life goal: parents want it for their children, individuals want it for themselves, politicians want it for their constituents, and so on. Yet, we don’t measure it effectively. And where it is measured (several countries are experimenting with similar happiness or well-being indices), it isn’t broadcast – there is no collective goal that is sent out over the media waves for everyone to work towards. Marks points out that on any given day, we know what the stock indexes and money markets are doing, yet we have no idea how national happiness is faring.
In my work, helping to creating and sustain positive organizations, I was especially taken by the fact that Marks points out that employee well-being is linked to employee creativity and innovation (and in future blogs, I will be sharing more data and research into the benefits of “happy” employees). Plus Marks also shares 5 positive actions to increase happiness in your life. I won’t say here what they are – this is my teaser to encourage you to watch the video - but I will say that they have all been substantiated by positive psychology research.
Happiness does not cost the Earth. I’m definitely inspired by this talk. And very interested to hear what you have to say about it. Please comment below on the LVS Consulting website!
Learning from peer reviews
What are you really learning from a Peer Review?
I have spent the last few days coaching MBA teams and the individual members on interpreting results from their Peer Review Assessments, and creating action plans. Here are a few things that these teams and individuals found especially helpful:
1. Know the purpose of your team meeting
Teams meet often, and each meeting has a different purpose. Once we started parsing out what was a working session (with the goal of completing deliverables), what was a tutorial (with one expert sharing knowledge), what was a study group (with individuals working together without specific knowledge or deliverables) and what was an administrative meeting (with team members talking about how the team is functioning and dealing with other team administrative matters), then it became easier to set norms for attendance and behaviour, as well as expectations for outcomes.
2. The over-use or under-use of a strength is a weakness
A strength is only a strength when it is used in the right way at the right place and right time. Assertiveness overplayed can look aggressive, and underplayed can look spineless. In Peer Reviews and 360 tools generally, it is possible for an individual to receive contradictory feedback. Someone thinks the individual is assertive and someone else thinks they are too aggressive. Both are right. Both are speaking to different times, different situations and, most importantly, different perspectives.
3. Critical or harsh feedback might have no malicious intent
Sometimes, individuals receive comments that hurt. I mean, really hurt. There is a specific word that strikes at the heart – like “condescending” or “arrogant” or “dominant”. In those cases, there is a natural inclination to do two things: dismiss the criticism and malign the feedback provider (who is, of course, anonymous – so the next inclination is to try and attribute the feedback to someone…) However, when the individual was able to reframe the intent of the feedback, determining (with coaching) that the feedback provider might have no malicious intent and just chose his/her words poorly, then it was easier to examine the feedback and look for hints of truth. This leads to greater learning and insight on the part of the recipient, and greater growth.
4. Taking in new feedback broadens you
Sometimes, when an individual reads feedback like “You are too easy-going”, a natural response might be, “But I like being easy-going – I don’t want to change…” My response is that you don’t have to change. But you might want to expand your repetoire of skills and abilities. You will always have a natural inclination that you will resort to. Under stress, or when things are going well, your natural inclination might be to go with the flow. But when the building is burning, for example, that might not be the best response. Or when a deadline is looming. Or when someone’s performance is failing. Being a strong team member and a strong leader means developing other skills and techniques outside what you’re naturally good at. Most artists don’t work only with one or two comfortable colours. Increase your palette, and you can still maintain your favourites.
I enjoy working with MBA students and leaders as they interpret their feedback. While we think we know ourselves well, in many cases, others truly know us better. Taking in those perspectives leads to our own growth – in my books, always a good thing.
Permission to slack
I have been on vacation for the past two weeks or so. This has meant that my email has piled up, and so has the reading that I’ve wanted to do. Normally I would sit down and plow through it all, but this time, I’m giving myself permission to slack off a bit.
Some might take exception with the phrase “slack off”. In fact, I do too. “Slacking off” has a very negative connotation to it. So let’s rephrase – it’s about savouring and enjoying. Instead of just plowing through my emails and newsletter updates, I’m going to read them slowly, thoughtfully and meaningfully. Joyfully. Intelligently. Savourishiously.
And possibly write about them. There is a theme of articles that I’ve been saving – about positive psychology in the workplace. Look for some blog posts coming soon!
In other news, I’ve been reading Switch by Chip and Dan Heath – really amazing book! A lot of great positive psychology principles embedded with change management and organizational culture. A great bringing-together of many different elements! Highly recommended.
Positive parenting
As a bit of a diversion from my usual professional direction (leadership, teams, effective communication, workplace culture, etc), my MAPP Capstone has me researching parenting. I’m creating a book proposal for a book that will help new parents in their early decision-making on topics such as co-sleeping, breastfeeding, baby-wearing, and so on.
It’s no surprise that parenting is a heavily-researched area. It is key to our continuing success as a flourishing society, and research shows over and over again that there are certain parenting practices that produce healthy families, resilient and capable children, positive parental relationships, and other parenting practices that… well… do not.
Dr. Christine Carter is a positive parenting expert (a sociologist and happiness expert) who directs the Greater Good Science Center’s parenting program. Her book Raising Happiness (I love love love that title – I’m a big fan of wordplay and I find it to be quite clever!) is based in science and shared in heart. Her blog takes on timely issues, and it is a welcome boost in my inbox, especially as I continue with my own research.
Parents – take note – sign up for Christine’s blog and get a copy of her book. It’s wonderful positive advice and insights, the likes of which you won’t see anywhere else.
Celebrating great writing and sharing ideas
I’m in the midst of writing my final Capstone submission for my MAPP (Master of Applied Positive Psychology) program at the University of Pennsylvania. I can’t believe the hundreds of research papers that I’ve scoured and reviewed, in order to come up with my own paper. It will eventually be posted on the Scholarly Commons and I will announce the link when that is available.
In the meantime, I’m extra-appreciative of excellent writing and how other positive psychology practitioners – those using the research and philosophy of positive psychology to enrich the “real lives” of people, organizations and societies – are able to share their ideas widely.
Two examples:
Paula Davis-Laack is a lawyer who is using positive psychology to help those in the legal profession. Her company, The Marie Elizabeth Company, is all about empowering “strengths-based and resilient living”. Her writing may be aimed at those in the legal profession, but her wisdom is something we can all learn from. Today’s celebration for Paula is special as she was published in the Wisconsin Lawyer , the official publication of the state bar of Wisconsin. When a publication like that is paying attention, you know it’s important!
(I would be remiss here if I didn’t mention someone who has been inspirational to Paula, and also to me, Dan Bowling. Dan is also a lawyer, but a really really nice one – though he never shies away from controversy and debate. Dan was recently interviewed by the ABA journal, the journal of the American Bar Association. If you want to see the reaction to his article, conduct a search for “vibrant stew” and “Dan Bowling” and see what bubbles up…)
The second example is someone I’ve actually never met in person, but I have been in constant awe at his ability to apply research and write clearly about the most convoluted ideas. His contributions and generosity are impressive. Jeremy McCarthy works in the spa industry, which I would think is perfectly suited to positive psychology – it’s all about flourishing and knowing that other people matter. Jeremy blogs at The Psychology of Wellbeing and his articles are always well-written and bring a smile to my face. Today’s celebration for Jeremy is that his reach just got a big boost from About.com, perhaps one of the most-referenced websites for anything you want to know anything about. Kudos to Jeremy!
Of course, there are many many more practitioners out there writing and sharing great ideas about the application of positive psychology. If you know of any blogs or newsletters, please send them my way! I’d love to highlight them. A well-deserved toast to you all.
