When we think about feedback, we often focus on the “back” part of the word. For example, I will tell you what you are doing wrong and give my reflections back to you. As a result of my reflections, you will change your behaviour and therefore change your results and achieve higher outcomes, or whatever it is that I’m looking for you to produce as a result of my feedback to you. However, there is another important part of the word feedback, which is the “feed” element. What if we stopped to consider what it means to “feed” someone as part of feedback?
Traditionally, feedback in the workplace can feel forced and formulaic. Your boss might, for example, tell you about something good you did, then something that needs improving, and then finish it up with a cheery positive note. This is the feedback sandwich and if you’ve ever been on the receiving end of it, my guess is that it did not encourage you to perform at ever-greater heights. In fact, it might have even decreased trust in your boss and it might have demoralized you. Or you may have received feedback from your boss about a task that you didn’t do so well, but nothing about the time and effort that you put into that task, or how resourceful you were trying to be in problem-solving, or what a creative approach you took, even if it didn’t work out. All your boss seems to notice is the problem with the outcome, and while that might be practical, it can feel soulless and devoid of any connection. The risk, when we focus on the “back”, is that feedback can come across as unidirectional and uninspiring.
But what could happen if we focus on the “feed”?
Why do we feed people? Why do we invite good people over to our home, prepare a meal, and feed them good food? There are probably numerous reasons that spring to mind but let me offer this one: we wish to nourish them and possibly ourselves as well. This isn’t just about food. If it was just food, we would feed our guests leftovers and whatever odds and ends we had in the fridge and pantry. When we invite someone into our home for a meal, it’s about more than the food. It’s about the occasion, the company, the enjoyment, the relationship – it’s thoroughly nourishing on several levels.
Then what might “nourishing feedback” look like in the workplace? If we focus on the “feed” side of feedback, just like a good meal with good friends, we need a few elements for success.
Caring
When you sit down to plan and prepare a meal for your friends, you are doing so with care. You care for your friends – you think about their food preferences, their allergies, their sensitivities. You think about how the dishes might combine and whether they would be pleasing and palatable for all your guests’ senses. In the world of feedback in the workplace, that could mean taking the care to consider your feedback recipient – thinking about their feedback preferences, how your perspective might matter to them, what they have going on in their world and how feedback might impact them at this time.
Competence
In addition to caring, you will likely choose to prepare dishes that you feel reasonably competent preparing, whatever your level of cooking expertise. You may even test those dishes out ahead of time, tasting them yourself and asking your family to partake so you can perfect them for when your guests arrive. With feedback in the workplace, you may even test your feedback out on others ahead of time, ensuring that you are competently delivering nourishing feedback that will enable your feedback recipient to grow and thrive.
Preparation
Just like it takes time to prepare a meal, it takes time to prepare to deliver feedback. Consider all the ingredients and how you might tailor this specifically for your designated recipient. With food, you may consider the flavours, spiciness, sweetness, and so on. With feedback, you may consider how you can make it more specific, timely, personalized, genuine, and so on. If you truly care about the delivery of the feedback, like you care about the delivery of a nourishing meal for company, then you will set aside the time to formulate your feedback as well.
Relating
Likely, as you prepare a meal, you are also thinking about your guests and what else you might do or talk about through the evening. You know what topics or activities they might enjoy – it’s ok to ask about their parents’ health but not about the day’s headlines, for example. They may enjoy card games but not Monopoly. This is because meals together are about taking the time to nurture and grow relationships. Shared meals are a time-honoured way to bring people together.
What if feedback in the workplace could also be about bringing people together? What’s possible when you focus on nurturing the relationship with your feedback recipient, through care, competence, and preparation, using nourishing feedback as a mechanism? Nourishing feedback has the potential to create an enhanced positive relationship between the giver and receiver. This could also increase the recipient’s intrinsic motivation and energy, as your feedback helps them to grow and be strong, just as good food does for those who consume it. Ultimately, this could result in a culture of care and growth in the workplace, as nourishing feedback flows freely.
Overall, there is a delicious opportunity to create and provide more nourishing feedback in the workplace. With a small shift in focus – and mindset – it is possible to truly “feed” others through feedback, helping them to grow in both task performance and relationship quality with others. It is time to start “feed-ing” and not just “back-ing”.
Want to learn more? Contact me and let’s talk about feedback in your workplace.